So I wouldn't go as far as to say that I've "hit rock bottom." I mean, I have amazing friends, even though I'm going to be leaving them soon since I'm putting in my two weeks notice tomorrow. I also have amazing family who would love me even if I killed somebody. I have a boyfriend that when things are good they are really good and when they are bad they are really bad and I even so I love him though I don't really think he knows what love is. I have shoes under my feet and a roof over my head..as the song goes. But even so, sometimes I just get down. I wasted my parents money for four years at VCU to not even earn a degree. My credit is screwed up, most likely for the rest of my life.
I always say that you can't live your life on coulda's woulda's shoulda's and that there is no such thing as mistakes but instead lessons learned..but I really wish I could go back. Back to that first semester of college..I would wait to join a sorority until sophomore year and focus on school and getting used to college life. I would never have gotten that student credit card. So many things would be different now but I would still want Ryan as my boyfriend and the friends that I have now in my life. I mean in the past year I have met some truly amazing people. Who would have thought that two roomates I found on craigslist would become two of my best friends? and that the people I call "co-workers" would in a two month period become the people who know me better than anyone.
But I can't go back and so I turn another chapter in my life and move forward instead of dwelling (now that I've gotten it off my chest).
Things to do:
Find job in cville area
save money to move out of parents house
Figure out what I want to be when I grow up (Vampire Slayer?)
Try to work things out with Ryan
I'm also going to try to blog more often. I forget how much I love to write sometimes.
Stay tuned...it's going to be a long night of tears and thoughts so I'll probably write again later.
Current obsession:
Kenny Chesney and Dave matthews Song "I'm Alive"
<3
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